Despite imperfections, I've lived 43 years with a nose that seemingly never deterred hot "straight" ladies from wanting that rogue lesbian experience.
For the past 10 years my nasal breathing has progressively worsened. Every night I use a fan to open the passageways while I sleep, my homeopathic membrane shrinking alternative to Afrin.
Since the age of 16, Mom periodically offered rhinoplasty, but it wasn't until last year, when I popped open a cabinet door into my face, that I took her up on it. With my new swollen beak reflecting back at me, it was urgently time to visit Mom's new Messiah and phenomenal plastic surgeon Dr. Adrian Yi in Encino, California.
This was one of the best decisions of my life. Not only can 'the worst deviated septum the Dr. had ever seen' breathe much better, but I am incredibly pleased with my new profile. Dr. Yi's rare blend of perfectionism and class is equally as impressive as his brilliant artistry. From my observations, he exceeds the talents of Beverly Hills surgeons while priced significantly lower - it's that 15 minutes North that allows him to offer the very reasonable fees.
I don't know why Hollywood is so ashamed to fess up to a nose job. Fuck "character" I should have done it years ago!
The surgery was a breeze, not a single complication, although, breathing through the mouth for 5 days while my nose was packed post-surgery, prompted a first dance with Xanax and Ambien prescriptions. As forewarned, the pharmaceuticals brought on wicked nightmares (the usual yet HD enhanced - sweaty chase scenes; scaling walls and hurdling jagged fences.) I ended up regifting the meds for Christmas and endured the panic attacks naturally.
As I am happily married and a contentedly unsocial shut-in, I haven't had the chance to see if my new symmetrical appearance garners more attention. Strangely enough, I've had several people ask if my "attitude has changed." It seems odd to me at 43, that the old douch swan emerges and anyone gives a shit? Really?
Adrian Yi, MD
Aesthetic Surgery Assoc
16311 Ventura Blvd Ste 550
Encino, CA 91436
Phone: (818) 986-7900
Fax: (818) 986-7952
www.dryi.yourmd.com
*A second bow down to Dr. Yi for zapping lifelong freckles right off my face and chest in a single round. I no longer take in the sun and my skin has had a huge healthy transformation. I'm sharing my experiences because in a country bubbling over with unapologetic mediocrity, it's unusual when someone surpasses your expectations. I have never felt more confident with a recommendation. Dr. Yi is a master and a mench.
MAKING OF MY HISTORIC FREEDOM TO MARRY BILLBOARD:
* Check out the old shnoz! (No audio)
The making of the billboard was shot on 16mm film by Matt Sohn. The posting of the billboard was shot on Hi-8 video by Jill Abrams. The billboard was painted by Raphael Valencia and it was all made possible by the great Rick Robinson who was creative director of Outdoor Systems - Billboards at the time.
MY INCREDIBLE WIFE:
